PSEUDOREALISM

“Whenever you try to create something new, something completely- just profound. Does it come from anywhere really?” “When you dive deep into the ocean, make sure to hold your breath. You never know if you’ll wake up.” will we ever recover from - the experiences the trauma the sideway glances the whispers from friends forgotten, the memories of mother when she was still lucid the laughter of father cooking scrambled eggs the dreams of having a baby brother, the interviews to dream schools turned to nightmares the shoplifting in 711s and acting like nothing happened the long distance relationships that ended tragic the crying alone in our rooms because they forgot the birthday cakes that didn’t taste like anything at all the magicians in birthday parties that amazed us the holding of hands at summer camps the times of winning medals with no family in the crowd the nights I was on my knees begging to be saved the moments we shared where I felt miles away the words I wanted to say but I couldn’t ask we never had much (or enough) we never had love we never had a normal life we never had a way out we never had a way in all we ever had were delusions (narcissism) (grandeur) (hope) (ambition) (trials) (lessons) (ego) (reality) (acceptance) “How are you? I’m okay. How about you? I’m okay too.”