A Tribute to 2020

Life. Life has so many meanings. Life was like a glass that it needs to be carefully carried. Life was like someone who is gonna achieve their inner spark. Life was a thing that was once experienced. Life was paradise. Life. 

2020 has been a pain in the gut for me. I do really thought that it'll go exactly as we planned for this year but it came crashing down when the pandemic came. It was exactly awful and in the same time, changed the perspective of how I see the world from then it was now. Sometimes I do ask myself, "Is this pandemic is gonna last forever? Will I be able to be free again from all the things that was bothering me, especially being at home with many regrets that I've missed?" 

Then from those questions, I did regret many things. I've missed every single one of these moments that I just cannot see within. And I hated myself for not taking a chance to fulfil my duties from the last decade. I've missed my chance to get a certificate. I've missed my chance to prove to my teacher that I am capable of being a student. I've missed my chance for proving myself that I can do those things I wanted to do in life, even in my early childhood. I just cannot seem to enjoy the real meaning of enjoying every minute of my life. That last decade killed me.

From playing Habbo, to being with my best internet friend, to missing my classes, to missing every single spectacle of everyday life do really killed me throughout my soul. I really regret those years that I was not thinking if I shall be pursuing what I want or where I wanted to be. It's really sick once you tried to rethink and decide what you had done during the entire day. 

I truly regret those years and as I approach the next decade, I wanted to promise myself to move forward and think of the positive things that I shall look forward to. In the fact, this quarantine had thought me of many things but there was still more to come soon. 

But first, I just wanted to say sorry to everyone that I hurt so much, I'm sorry for being such a crazy person who goes outside of the rooms everyday just to get some peace of my mind, I understand that I had classes but I do need some time to think alone for a second. And I wanted to thank everyone who loved, who supported me through my ups and downs, through the bad times that I faltered and hurt, through the good and cheerful times that I shall cherish forever.

I hope that everything has gone out quite as sincere for now and hopefully that the next few years of my life will be amazing. 

Happy New Year to everyone from me to you, from my family to yours.