Proving the Flat Earth Theory with Orbital Simulations (Satire)

NASA has been lying to us for many years. Everyone knows that the Earth is flat. Do you observe the Earth's surface turning round when you look out? This comedy is over. Paxton's Blog Using simulations, I will demonstrate that the Earth is not a sphere but rather a Minecraft superflat world.

We begin with a basic simulation of the Sun and the Earth. Sizes are not to scale to facilitate visibility.

Looks normal enough, right? This could be a sign to make my theory untrue. But, just wait and look around. Let's add all the inner planets.

Everything is perfect It's beautiful and smooth Ellipse. Now we add the moon. Get ready.

Notice how the moon isn't rotating around the Earth? In fact, it's lagging quite a bit behind, rotating like a normal planet would.

Could it be that my model was flawed? I didn't take into account the Earth's motion in context of its own rotation. Do I have to come up with absurdly stupid explanations to justify my apparent error in my work to my physics teacher? No. This is a clear indication that something is up. But, the truth could be far beyond what you poor, poor readers could ever imagine. Another thought popped into my head while writing this essay. What is the likelihood that the flat Earth theory is just an illusion or a red herring designed to distract from the real truth?

After much research, I came to an answer. The Earth and its moon may be round, but there's a dark secret the authorities are hiding from us. The truth is that the moon is made up of green cheese. Its surface is littered with the craters. There is no plausible explanation, unless one believes that the Swiss and not the US of America were the first to reach the moon.

However, additional studies disprove this idea. Another reason is the popularity in America of Swiss cheese.

Finally, after intense Minecraft gaming, I have come to a different conclusion. Remember our original claim that Earth was a superflat planet? While orbital mechanics could have eliminated that possibility, I propose a different hypothesis. It blends the wisdom of the past and modern science. You can read the article once you are confident that you have prepared yourself mentally and emotionally.

The Earth is hollow cube. It is a folded superflat planet. How does this relate to existing theories? The surface of the Earth remains flat in this scenario, fitting into the majority of the evidence flatties offer. However, this also fits with the arguments made against a flat Earth by gravity, since there is enough distribution of mass to avoid extreme shifts. Further, this matches the results of the simulation as a hollow cube would have significantly less mass and be unable to keep the moon in its orbit. For a mockup, please check out the following.