What Is Meaning?

“We’ve established that patient number 6 is legally blind and spiritually-“ Red chariots, deliver unto me dreams of the Marriott, silly smiles accompany these tears falling down from cheap windows, metal grills keep the demons inside, we kept quiet everytime a child cried, whiplash sounds from belts, screams from unmarried spouses, playing tag in the living room, mother had a knife in hand, i wonder if she knew? “It seems we’ve made a miscalculation. the ennui needed to artificially activate catharsis is too much. We can’t stimulate that trauma in a mere-“ Nights of being alone, making deals with night terrors, screaming at computer errors, the knife became my favorite mirror, how do I quantify? catharsis, melodramatic episodes, falling into a spinning door, shouting at the honda civic, why are we so civil at the family dinner? I hate you both, I hate you I hate you I really hate you tho “We have to put him under into a deep, deep sleep. Or else we’ll lose him. Well, that’s not fair to say actually. We already lost him, a long, long time ago.” Rocket barrages over the skyscrapers, momma is crying because her heart’s broken, she can barely stand up and feed herself, nailed to the bed, familiar familial martyrdoms, kingdoms made to be destroyed, by the impetuous youthful spirit. I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry dad. I'm searching for meaning. I'm tired of daydreaming. I live to die. I die to live. "He's back."